Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you about how her smile put the stars in the midnight sky and how her laugh made her shine brighter than the sun.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you about how her fingers felt like the correct place to put my hands, the only place they would ever really feel at home.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you every date we saw each other and every detail from the day we met as if we were a couple that had just started yesterday.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will fall down on my knees, tell you about the girl that made me feel at home and then tell you about how I managed to
Thanks for coming, love.
Thanks for being there,
... all those hours...
those days when I felt gone...
far away...
Thanks for the smiles, love.
Thanks for the emotions,
Laughs, smiles, giggles
... Tears, frowns, sobs...
And everything in between.
I love you, love.
I hope you never doubted that.
It's been resounding in my ears for forever,
Love...
When was the last time I felt comfortable?
When my smile really felt real,
Or when my laugh wasn't forced?
I don't know.
I don't know when this happened.
When the world got so old.
When I stopped feeling real anymore.
But thank you.
For being there.
For smiling and laughing.
For giving me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Don't go.
I'd miss you.
I'd miss you badly.
You make me so comfortable,
I've never felt so warm.
No one's ever made me this happy.
I don't think I dance like that in front of anyone,
Or sing that softly to anyone else.
I hope you're Ok with that,
How big of a fool I am.
And I hope you can deal wi
I spend too much time...
Sitting.
Thinking.
About every crummy thing in life.
About the distance between her and me,
Or sometimes how she doesn't seem to care,
Or is bored of everything about me.
About best friends with better best friends.
People I don't seem to see and want to,
But don't mind that I'm someone they don't see.
About parents.
Judgments.
Have I ever done anything good in my life?
Will I ever?
I want to open the door,
Lock it on the way out,
Throw away the key.
Never come back again.
The cold outside is the place for me.
It makes me think of suicide...
But I wouldn't want to trouble anybody.
Maybe disappear.
Why was
I'm lost, love.
Please find me.
It's 2am on a Monday morning.
All I can think about is you.
But don't think it's because it's 2am.
Hardly.
I think about you on the daily.
Every day.
Every night.
It's just you.
Your smile.
Your laugh.
It's you.
I can't wait to see you again.
But I will, because it's worth it.
I'm lost love.
Please find me.
Mmm...
Find me in the morning.
Sweet dreams.
Why does it feel like I should brace myself?
Like something terrible is about to happen?
Pandora's box is open,
And I'm the only one who noticed.
What's going on?
Why am I so sad?
She didn't do anything weird.
She hasn't changed at all!
What did I do?
What am I noticing?
I don't get it
I don't get it
I don't get it.
Maybe I need rest.
Yea that's... probably it.
It'll be fine in the morning...
Wake me up when everything's back to normal.
There it is,
There's that word again,
Close your eyes...
It feels like...
A crack in the windshield.
no problem
no worries
Till all the glass breaks on your face.
A slow-mo movie scene,
The support beam breaks,
hold your brea
You make me smile, love.
Your texts make me smile, laugh...
They fix my sad.
And stop my mad.
I don't think you know how much you do it.
It's everyday, all the time.
I miss you, love.
I miss holding you,
Watching your soft smile when I tap your nose.
And your embarrassment when I kiss you.
I miss your soft hands, your cute cheeks.
I miss you.
I'm scared, love.
Scared to lose you again.
Scared you'll find someone better,
I know someone is.
I can't compete...
Not this far away.
I'm scared you'll tire of me..
I push you too hard.
And don't give much back.
All I do is apologize.
Please don't leave me.
I want you, lov
I'm far away.
I hope that's OK.
I hope that my long distance love is alright.
I hope you can wait.
... I hope I hope I hope.
It's all I can say.
I'm sorry.
I'll visit.
As much as I can.
But... That's not much.
I'm sorry.
I'll gift things...
Just a few.
Mostly smiles, hugs, kisses.
I know it isn't much...
I'm sorry.
I'm not a good boyfriend.
I'm not a looker.
I only have dumb jokes,
Compliments sometimes.
I can't protect you... Especially from over here.
I'm sorry.
Please don't cry.
Please don't be jealous.
I'm here.
I'm d
I got lost today.
I hope that's ok with everyone
Please don't worry about me,
Go on with your lives.
I'll be alright,
I've been lost before.
Someone will find me eventually.
I just want to take a walk,
Figure some things out.
I've daydreamed quite a lot.
Apparently of the wrong person.
So I have to fix my dreams.
Don't worry,
I'll be right back.
I've always wanted to travel,
Ride that bullet train
Fly over the empty farmland
Take a subway to somewhere,
It was my favorite daydream.
It always had someone in it,
Some nameless best friend,
Some perfect lover.
Who knows.
I'll find her someday.
Just like she'll find me
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you about how her smile put the stars in the midnight sky and how her laugh made her shine brighter than the sun.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you about how her fingers felt like the correct place to put my hands, the only place they would ever really feel at home.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will tell you every date we saw each other and every detail from the day we met as if we were a couple that had just started yesterday.
Do not ask me if I am fine,
Or I will fall down on my knees, tell you about the girl that made me feel at home and then tell you about how I managed to
Thanks for coming, love.
Thanks for being there,
... all those hours...
those days when I felt gone...
far away...
Thanks for the smiles, love.
Thanks for the emotions,
Laughs, smiles, giggles
... Tears, frowns, sobs...
And everything in between.
I love you, love.
I hope you never doubted that.
It's been resounding in my ears for forever,
Love...
When was the last time I felt comfortable?
When my smile really felt real,
Or when my laugh wasn't forced?
I don't know.
I don't know when this happened.
When the world got so old.
When I stopped feeling real anymore.
But thank you.
For being there.
For smiling and laughing.
For giving me a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Don't go.
I'd miss you.
I'd miss you badly.
You make me so comfortable,
I've never felt so warm.
No one's ever made me this happy.
I don't think I dance like that in front of anyone,
Or sing that softly to anyone else.
I hope you're Ok with that,
How big of a fool I am.
And I hope you can deal wi
I spend too much time...
Sitting.
Thinking.
About every crummy thing in life.
About the distance between her and me,
Or sometimes how she doesn't seem to care,
Or is bored of everything about me.
About best friends with better best friends.
People I don't seem to see and want to,
But don't mind that I'm someone they don't see.
About parents.
Judgments.
Have I ever done anything good in my life?
Will I ever?
I want to open the door,
Lock it on the way out,
Throw away the key.
Never come back again.
The cold outside is the place for me.
It makes me think of suicide...
But I wouldn't want to trouble anybody.
Maybe disappear.
Why was
Why does it feel like I should brace myself?
Like something terrible is about to happen?
Pandora's box is open,
And I'm the only one who noticed.
What's going on?
Why am I so sad?
She didn't do anything weird.
She hasn't changed at all!
What did I do?
What am I noticing?
I don't get it
I don't get it
I don't get it.
Maybe I need rest.
Yea that's... probably it.
It'll be fine in the morning...
Wake me up when everything's back to normal.
There it is,
There's that word again,
Close your eyes...
It feels like...
A crack in the windshield.
no problem
no worries
Till all the glass breaks on your face.
A slow-mo movie scene,
The support beam breaks,
hold your brea
I'm far away.
I hope that's OK.
I hope that my long distance love is alright.
I hope you can wait.
... I hope I hope I hope.
It's all I can say.
I'm sorry.
I'll visit.
As much as I can.
But... That's not much.
I'm sorry.
I'll gift things...
Just a few.
Mostly smiles, hugs, kisses.
I know it isn't much...
I'm sorry.
I'm not a good boyfriend.
I'm not a looker.
I only have dumb jokes,
Compliments sometimes.
I can't protect you... Especially from over here.
I'm sorry.
Please don't cry.
Please don't be jealous.
I'm here.
I'm d
Dear Friend,
When will driving this road stop feel like I'm going to your house?
And when will I dream about you and I won't be missing your warmth?
When will sunrise make me not want to text you "hi."
Or moonshine not make me want to text you "good night."
It's been a month already,
You'd think I'd be over you.
But it still feels like every crush I have is just a rebound.
It's not fair. I think...
You seem so apathetic. So uncaring.
Did you ever really care, really?
Dear Friend,
I still miss you sometimes.
Sometimes, sometimes... all the times.
Maybe it's not you specifically...
Maybe I miss loving someone and them loving m
I used to be able to touch my toes,
I can't anymore, but I've been eating well.
She still can, however, she's pretty fit.
A proud saxophone of her high school marching band.
Loves the performances, hates the practices,
Her face lights up when she-
Crap, I'm talking about her again.
I used to be able to touch my toes,
They say it's a bad sign of your health if you can't...
Or something like that.
I haven't be doing much research on it.
Been more focused on her anime, her videogames, ... her.
She's just different enough to be interesting,
And similar enough to find a connection.
We watched the same kind of shows... but not the exact
I'm under my dresser with nothing to do
except look for rats and wonder who,
Who is it I talk to, is what you say true?
Or am I just fooling myself to believe you?
Perhaps you could tell me, why is it I'm here,
Quite a ways away from you, rather than near,
I somehow doubt it's to fill you with cheer,
But perhaps you can tell me, my dear?
Is it to dream or to cast away stars,
Or to stare at the sky and look out way far.
Because we sometimes feels like the universe is ours,
And sometimes I just wonder who you really are...
So could you please tell me, while I've nothing to do,
In me, what did you see, and are you tell the truth?
Thanks for coming, love.
Thanks for being there,
... all those hours...
those days when I felt gone...
far away...
Thanks for the smiles, love.
Thanks for the emotions,
Laughs, smiles, giggles
... Tears, frowns, sobs...
And everything in between.
I love you, love.
I hope you never doubted that.
It's been resounding in my ears for forever,
Love...
This is going to be my last status update and journal on DeviantArt.
Looking back at my journals... it seems that I really only use DeviantArt as a coping mechanism when I have break-ups. And, being a relatively shy boy who doesn't go for relationships often, I don't have break-ups often. My recent ex I broke up with last Tuesday... is the same ex who i broke up with last September (remember Toes?). She didn't explain to me why she broke up with then. But she found an infatuation with me back in mid-November to December. And we tried again starting January-ish. But she became uncomfortable and our relationship was never really stable. It wa
Opening up the friend's list and seeing people's names with something like...
"latest activity: 203 w"
It makes me feel like I should go too.
Um...
I have a tumblr where I post my poetry: http://occasionallyartsy.tumblr.com/
And then my personal tumblr where i reblog tons of anime and generally reply to things (I mean if you're into that): http://wakemeupsomeothertime.tumblr.com
I guess that's all.
See you around.